I have and I want

All that I want and all that I have are miles apart on my chess board.

I have people who love me but I want to love them more.

I have books but I want to write them and create a world where people lose themselves in their own world of epiphany.

I have education but I want to gain immense knowledge; then, will the world recognize me for who I am? 

I have clothes but I want to give them to people who do not have them and cover them with a big cloth of love and soulful memories.

I have many memories but I want to make infinite more and capture them with the sound of ice falling against glass.

I have a huge smile but I want to smile more, every day, every fleeting seconds as I realize I have done something good.

I do realize that the more I give up hope, the more I will drown in my own agonies of past mistakes and hateful days gone by. I have hated so many people and loved so less, I feel like a hollow shell lying on the wet sand, waiting for the waves to sweep me away under the depths of the cold blue blankets. I have been rude to those who have loved me unconditionally, and I want to repent, yet I cannot bring myself to confess ‘why?’.

I have learnt many things in my entire lifespan till now, and I cannot share them for they have been packed in the abandoned cabinet of my subconscious memory.

 

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